Why gorgeous women date ‘not’ so handsome men?

Yes, of course..we've all spotted that 'average' or even a 'below-average' bloke with a hot, gorgeous woman. Haven't we? And then we can't help but ask ourselves, "Huhn? What's she doing with him?"
Also most of us, especially the men folk, automatically assume that the only reason a sexy woman like her would want to be with someone like him, is because he’s rich, or 'well hung' (size matters if you let it matter) has a fancy sports car or possesses some other attribute, that he’s using to attract the type of hot woman he’s with.


Okay, so let's take a deep breath and talk about this.
Let's decode what exactly is wrong with the conventionally attractive men, and what is so right about these..well, conventionally un-attractive men.

So, what's the secret?

Trust me when I say this, good looking women have the hardest time meeting men real men!(No, no, before raising that eye-brow, hear me out.)

All that " Haww! You're so pretty, you can get anybody you want to" doesn't hold true in most cases. 

Look around you. You'll be amazed at how many women end up settling for sub-par rela­tion­ships. You'll be baffled at how many great looking women are on dating websites (and how they still remain unsuccessful).
I myself am perplexed, on how so many single hot people out there, are not dating when they want to/who they want to. Sure, there are a billion factors that play into it, but the fact remains, that thousands of pretty girls are staying home tonight, wondering what’s wrong with them…only because all the blokes they meet, are too afraid to ask them out!

Why the f*ck?

Well, sad but true...most men are intimidated by looks! 

They think because she’s pretty - 
A. She must be high maintenance
B. Hard to get 
C. Already dating 
D. Snobby
E. Worst case scenario- All of the above

And the few hot studs that do approach her, either rely so heavily on their good looks alone, that they forget to make the date exciting, or are 'players', who like to play mind games just to get into her p*nts , or claim her as a trophy!!

Enter the Average Joe.

The other category, 'aka' the Average Joe, know this and play it to their advantage pretty smooth. They know, that in most cases, these women are single, fed up of head games and craving for a real man to approach them and desire them for who they are and not solely for their bodies. 

Now because she's so clearly "better than he deserves", the average joe will go to extremes to keep her happy, since he likely can't replace her with anyone of similar desirability. 

         So, how does it ultimately work out to be?

Well well well, there's a commonly-held belief that women are infinitely less shallow than the male counterparts. They might fantasize about a tall, dark stranger whisking them off for a night of passion, but when it comes to looking for a partner, they value wit, kindness and success just as much as good looks or at times over good looks. 

Most women want a man with a good head on their shoulders, someone who’s a good listener (that’s very important) and who is a true friend. He’s got to be funny, understanding, mature and respectful.The great sex doesn't hurt either (okay, so that’s uber important) but in a nutshell, what she wants is an honest, trustworthy, fun man who can bring stability into her life and romance her; not only for her body but also for her mind and soul.
Good lovers are hard to find. So if he can make sensual love to her body and mind at the same time, she'll have him signed for life!

Or will she?

Picture this:

“A gorgeous man spots a gorgeous girl. He immediately thinks, “She’s so hot, she’s got to be taken.” He overlooks her.
The pretty girl never gets approached.

She notices she’s being ignored by a hottie and thinks there’s something wrong with her. She’s clueless and distraught, but she tries to go on her merry way.

A few minutes later, a really beastly, ugly-critter looking guy spots the gorgeous girl and he thinks to himself, “This girl is HOT! I’m going to take my chances, another rejection isn’t going to hurt, besides, I feel today is my lucky day!” 

Ugly guy approaches gorgeous girl.

Gorgeous girl is confused as she thinks to herself, “No one really takes the time to get to know me, what the hell, he may be the one, I’ll give it a shot!”  - (An excerpt from menconfess.com)

Get the drift? 
Man up guys!

P.S: Assumptions are the mother of all screw-ups! Never assume anything with women. Talk the talk and walk the walk. Observe a woman, studying her like an experiment. But never assume. 

Happy Hunting! ;) 

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....a dreamy affair
‘Marry a man who loves you a little more than you love him’

I’ve always wondered, what makes two people click? Like, what is it that binds two people into this lifelong...okay, ideally lifelong, bond of ‘Marriage’? We all grow up reading and believing in the magic of Cinderella and likewise hope to meet our ‘knight in shining armor’, if not, a Hrithik Roshan would do!! We all exist with the faith of ‘Someone somewhere is made for us ‘and that one day he’ll reach out- the man of our dreams..we’ll find love together and live happily ever after! 
(Let’s be frank, we’ve all been there, done that!) 

Point here being, we are dreamy people. The big fat wedding – we would’ve had a million day and night dreams ‘bout it, followed by the uber-romantic Honeymoon!

Time flies, reality strikes.

Love is hard. Relationships harder. We do not always get what we want and more often than not, a burning passion is not enough to make a relationship work...One, two, sometimes multiple bad relationships...wrong men..confusion..right men but no future with them..more confusion...flings...growing age... increasing waistline...professional stress...parental pressure.......life’s a mess!

So now?
Take Two. Err...Arranged Marriage?

Okay,...the primary motive for getting married is because you love each other and want to be together. Agreed. But what if there is some deep rational thought in the decision to marry? A marriage that it is not blindly entered into just by the force of hormonal attraction, but by exercising some control on our minds and selecting a partner on the basis of ‘Good’ reasons, in other words, a rational choice?   

Right! So now when our moms show us the picture of 'that' guy- we have a zillion thoughts running  all at once (Yes, we women folk are capable of that!) We wonder if he’s nice. Will he care? Will he love me when I’m not exactly ‘lovable’? Is he hygienic? What if he has a bad-breath? Will he help with the household chores? Will his male ego over-shadow him all the time?  Will he respect and believe in my faith? Will he understand when I say I'm in no mood for sex that night? Will he stand up for me? Does he know that I can be a pain at times but that’s the way I'm built? Does he know that I enjoy my single, hassle free life as much as he does his? Will he realize that I value my family and friends as much as he does his? WE WONDER...(Btw, women don’t generally admit it, but we do care about looks too..at least in the initial stages.)
Match, set and go is easier said than done...
Okay, we are freaks. Yes, marriage freaks us out! That’s why we are never ready.(And you thought only men are commitment phobic!)We are never sure whether we’ve said yes to the right guy, although in our heart of hearts we know, a perfect guy is a myth!
So basically we are kinda impossible with a bucket list of expectations and we think a lot. To say YES. And once we say yes, we still wonder,all along the way. Am I going to be happy with him?

The big question however remains...
Whether you marry someone you've fallen in love with, or someone your parents have chosen, here's listing out 5 things to ask yourself before you say: 

Do I have a separate identity of my own?
Common, we can’t invite someone else into our world permanently, if we don’t know ourselves yet. If God forbid, he’s out of it someday, will we be able to rejoin the pieces on our own and start afresh with our life?

Do we play well together?
In other words,to make sure if you understand each other. While the cliché goes ‘opposites attract, we want to have some things in common. It’s completely fine and healthy to have your own interests and alone time, but do we know how to enjoy leisure time together?

Are our financial personalities compatible?
If branded clothes, exorbitant dinners and annual vacations abroad are our indulgences, marrying someone who thinks of them as an utter waste of money is not a good idea! Like, seriously!

Let’s get the ‘spacing’ right
If truth be told, post marriage, we can’t totally retain our space in the manner we used to, while single. It has to be shared. But one should know this once and for all-everyone has their space and marriage doesn’t give anybody the right to demand for the other person’s space.(Ever heard,'Absence makes the hard grow fonder'?)

Are we physically attracted to each other?
While men arrive at this conclusion somewhat quickly, women should give themselves some more time. Having said that, whatever is going on physically is meant to be an expression of something deep that is happening on the emotional level, else it’ll fade out in no time!

So there we have it! We have to hold hope in our hearts. We have to have patience. 
It's quite easy to pull-off a lavish big-fat wedding; what is hard is making the 'growing old' part to last a lifetime.

P.S: And after all this, we still wonder...“When will my Mr Right come and sweep me off my feet?  Does a “HAPPILY EVER AFTER really exist?  And if it does, how would it feel after all?

Women, I tell you....!!! ;)

You...A perspective.

The first time I met you,
I found you difficult.
No, you weren’t mean
But not compassionate either
And I….went with the flow
Not heeding, not caring, not wanting.
Till I realized I do.
Yes, it was you!

And so the story began
My ‘once in a lifetime’ story
You and Me
Surreal Illusory trancelike
Perfect time
Perfect moments
More butterflies…
You became
The first and last thought of my everyday being.
And I…was changed
Not planning, not thinking, not foreseeing
Yes, it was you!

The first time I grasped reality
It hurt like hell
A sharp pain right within
You’d scared me…
Scared me with your indifference,
Something I was unaccustomed to.
They say, some why-s in our life always remain unanswered
And Yet I…..waited
Not believing, not speaking, not smiling
Waited to be responded.
You didn’t change.
Facts didn’t change.
Maybe I was blind
So as not to see that…
You were the story of my life, whereas I
… was just a part of yours!

As the silence of the night creeps in
I think of you, yet again
You…who were never supposed to mean this much to me.
You, who made everything better, just by existing in my life
And I….Fell so hard
Not with knowledge, not with consent, not with consequence.
Yes, it was you!
My secret smile…but now, the obvious tear.

P.S. It’ll never be the same without you around.
I miss the best part of my everyday life!

Are you ready to take a chance?

Take a chance’-yes, we are familiar with this phrase and the connotation attached to it. Has been used over-used, time and again in books, novels, articles, movies- the very recent being ‘Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara’, where it has been emphasized in sequences more than one, that life is all ‘bout making a decision which may seem bizarre at the outset, or may not be close to being conventional, but taking a chance is what we can do, if at all we’re looking forward to experience the finest, and make the most  out of the one life, we’re blessed with.

When I look at my life in hindsight, I see many choices that some may regard as unwise decisions. However, I hardly regret any of those and I say this not because they  taught me lessons or made me more sensible and judicious as a person but  for the reason that without making those choices, without taking those chances, my life would be consumed by too many 'What if-s'.And I personally, can never imagine a life abound with 'What If-s and If Only-s'. The only regrets I have are the times I didn’t take a chance, the times my courage faltered and I turned my back on those feelings and never took that leap of faith. Maybe I was scared.

Yes, taking a chance is scary. It involves going beyond what you are acquainted with. It’s uncertain and risky. Phrases like- ‘Better the devil you know’ has been coined to justify that. But aren’t risks unavoidable? Just being alive holds inherent risks. To get out of bed in the morning is to take a risk...Who knows, it might jeopardize our lives! There are number of things that might befall, once we venture out of our cocoon. But will staying in bed eliminate those risks? Not really. In fact it will present a whole new set of perils in the form of apathy, monotony, boredom and a lack of zeal in life- each of which makes the existence seem a burden and weighs us down at some point in our lives.

So, be it choices in career, relationships, lifestyle or simply day to day activities...push the boundaries, go ahead and take that chance…avoiding which, you are choosing to stay trapped in the vicinity of your current circumstances.
But hey, 'Taking a chance’ need not necessarily be a sign of impulsive decision or acting at the spur of the moment. There are times when a person should dig a little deeper, delve into the situation and then act. Gut feelings may not always be right.

If you think, failure is the hardest part...think again!

The seemingly big question “What if I fail?”  is always going to be a nagging voice in the head from time to time. The best way to silence the voice, is to realize from the very beginning, that though undesirable, there is actually no real harm in failing, if you think about it. Even if the decision or the chance you take, doesn’t work out as smooth as you thought it would, you can at least give yourself a pat on the back, for having the nerve to attempt something different in the first place!

Then, what is?

Well,the hardest part lies in finding a balance, knowing when to take the chance and when to take a step back. Knowing when to keep pushing forward in persistence or when to just let go. It’s a balance of  the head and the heart, of thoughts and feelings, of doing what’s 'right' versus doing what you 'want/need' to do. It’s either 'bout not taking a chance and living with the regret that you’ll never know what might have been. Or taking one, risking it all, truly living life, and then accepting the bliss or the difficult path, where that chance may lead.
All that being said, if one feels entirely and utterly contented with every aspect of their lives and look for no further escalation and growth either of the mind, body or soul-this mantra isn't for them.But very few of us create the life of our dreams without taking chances!

  • Break the mold,
  • Get out of your comfort zone
  • Taste the fresh air that life has to offer, instead of the reek you are used to smelling and now find comforting.   

Make the Choice to take the Chance to be able to Change your life!

P.S- Decisions are the hardest move to make. Especially when it’s a choice between where you are and where you want to be. But...

I’d rather mess up than miss out.  

What women want from men?

In the past few years, I’ve come across umpteen men, who seem to somewhat misconstrue the notion of what women actually want from them. The stereotyped tall, dark, handsome blokes...who also happen to be mega rich and possibly even famous are good for Mills and Boons and we should leave them there.
In the real world of attraction, romance, dating, love and relationships - what the fairer sex seeks, has nothing to do with that. The simple basic need of every woman is a man who makes her feel good. She desires to experience a more meaningful, emotionally-fulfilling relationship with one, than she would with most others. Now before you jump to conclusions, ‘Feeling good’ is not about being showered with sweet mushy compliments- some genuine, some not-so-genuine (which is even worse). Most men these days make a common mistake of trying to be the perfect Mr. Nice Guy- polite and friendly when interacting with women, thus restricting her into a narrow range of ‘nice’ and ‘sugary’ emotions.- none of which will ever turn her on ,sexually . Women can see through this act of ‘Super Nice Guy’ a mile away and it turns them off instantly, because at the end of the day - it is deceptive, manipulative and calculating.
To make a woman feel the way she wants to around a man, one must allow her to be familiar with a wide range of desirable emotions when she’s around you- optimism, humor, amazement ,passion, delight, rightful amounts of annoyance and  displeasure when needed. And as appalling as it may sound, even tears! A man who isn't afraid to display his hurtful emotions (in the right proportions)  is powerfully attractive to us. Just be real, be raw!
In addition, women also want someone who can make her feel feminine. This is especially relevant to today’s contemporary career-oriented women, who are forced to conduct themselves,being at par with men, in their day jobs and in many other parts of their lives. Masculinity is mostly displayed through body language, gestures, behavior and conversation.
A ‘gentleman’ (don’t go by the literal word meaning) who knows the difference between surprising us and shocking us, between lust and longing, between boldness and over-confidence, between chivalry and going too far with it, is what we women are seeking for. 

To sum it up, here’s a list of things men can do, that we think are terrific:

  • Be a listener
  • Make eye contact
  • Dress neat
  • Smell good
  • Tell us the truth, not what we want to hear (sooner or later we’re gonna find out).
  • Be daring but not cheeky!
  • Please spare us the horror of pre-packaged pick-up lines.
  • Don’t go by rules of the dating game, create your own and execute them with panache and suavity.
  • Lastly, be yourself.I repeat, just be yourself! If that doesn’t make an impact on one, try the next.. Try harder..Keep trying..Try however but don’t try and be a ‘fake’ you! 

P.S-Cliché it may sound, but it’s always the little things that count. One just needs to play it large.

So, game on?

'...simply Shreya' re-defined!

July 31st,'2011..Must be some epic day, coz I,and yes I'm stressing on it, finally motivated myself to join the blogging bandwagon!And that is wow!

Have always believed myself to be good at preaching and disseminating 'gyaan' which i myself don't tend to follow..okay..don’t mostly follow! Have played the role of agony aunt, guide, teacher..Have captured moments in my diary 'bout life..love..moments..drama..heartbreaks..But starting  a blog??Nah!that was nowhere on my list..not even on my wish-list.. Why  to crack one’s brain and  think of new topics to write on? Who on earth  has the time and energy for this?and most importantly,what’s the fucking  need? Well, dunno how, but seem to have found the answers..it’s Me and as I see there’s a need.It ‘ll help me find myself.It'll enrich me as a person.It 'll add value to my life and make it meaningful..great if it does to someone else' as well! But as of now, I'm happy to have made up my mind shedding all pangs of lethargy and inertia,to maintain a blog.

The next logical step is to give it a name..and lo!Took me half-an-hour to finalize one....so yeah, have decided to call it 'Simply Shreya'..which is in fact an irony, coz the content would be anything but simple! But then..as my profile says..I'm a bunch of contradictions!Better start dealing with it! ;)

So here’s,


 which  doesn’t necessarily, aim at anything in particular ..would be as whimsical as me.. glad if it makes sense ..sometimes at least.

Dark, raw, unpretentious and more often than not,cryptic,.Strictly for those who can look beyond the realm of conventions and dare to accept the off-beat.

P.S: Prudes, please find yourselves elsewhere..in other words,get lost!!