....a dreamy affair

‘Marry a man who loves you a little more than you love him’

 

I’ve always wondered, what makes two people click? Like, what is it that binds two people into this lifelong...okay, ideally lifelong, bond of ‘Marriage’? We all grow up reading and believing in the magic of Cinderella and likewise hope to meet our ‘knight in shining armor’, if not, a Hrithik Roshan would do!! We all exist with the faith of ‘Someone somewhere is made for us ‘and that one day he’ll reach out- the man of our dreams..we’ll find love together and live happily ever after! 

(Let’s be frank, we’ve all been there, done that!) 

Point here being, we are dreamy people. The big fat wedding – we would’ve had a million day and night dreams ‘bout it, followed by the uber-romantic Honeymoon!

Time flies, reality strikes.

Love is hard. Relationships harder. We do not always get what we want and more often than not, a burning passion is not enough to make a relationship work...One, two, sometimes multiple bad relationships...wrong men..confusion..right men but no future with them..more confusion...flings...growing age... increasing waistline...professional stress...parental pressure.......life’s a mess!

So now?

Take Two. Err...Arranged Marriage?

Okay,...the primary motive for getting married is because you love each other and want to be together. Agreed. But what if there is some deep rational thought in the decision to marry? A marriage that it is not blindly entered into just by the force of hormonal attraction, but by exercising some control on our minds and selecting a partner on the basis of ‘Good’ reasons, in other words, a rational choice?   

Right! So now when our moms show us the picture of 'that' guy- we have a zillion thoughts running  all at once (Yes, we women folk are capable of that!) We wonder if he’s nice. Will he care? Will he love me when I’m not exactly ‘lovable’? Is he hygienic? What if he has a bad-breath? Will he help with the household chores? Will his male ego over-shadow him all the time?  Will he respect and believe in my faith? Will he understand when I say I'm in no mood for sex that night? Will he stand up for me? Does he know that I can be a pain at times but that’s the way I'm built? Does he know that I enjoy my single, hassle free life as much as he does his? Will he realize that I value my family and friends as much as he does his? WE WONDER...(Btw, women don’t generally admit it, but we do care about looks too..at least in the initial stages.)

 

Match, set and go is easier said than done...

Okay, we are freaks. Yes, marriage freaks us out! That’s why we are never ready.(And you thought only men are commitment phobic!)We are never sure whether we’ve said yes to the right guy, although in our heart of hearts we know, a perfect guy is a myth!

So basically we are kinda impossible with a bucket list of expectations and we think a lot. To say YES. And once we say yes, we still wonder,all along the way. Am I going to be happy with him?

The big question however remains...

Whether you marry someone you've fallen in love with, or someone your parents have chosen, here's listing out 5 things to ask yourself before you say: 

Do I have a separate identity of my own?

Common, we can’t invite someone else into our world permanently, if we don’t know ourselves yet. If God forbid, he’s out of it someday, will we be able to rejoin the pieces on our own and start afresh with our life?

Do we play well together?

In other words,to make sure if you understand each other. While the cliché goes ‘opposites attract, we want to have some things in common. It’s completely fine and healthy to have your own interests and alone time, but do we know how to enjoy leisure time together?

Are our financial personalities compatible?

If branded clothes, exorbitant dinners and annual vacations abroad are our indulgences, marrying someone who thinks of them as an utter waste of money is not a good idea! Like, seriously!

Let’s get the ‘spacing’ right

If truth be told, post marriage, we can’t totally retain our space in the manner we used to, while single. It has to be shared. But one should know this once and for all-everyone has their space and marriage doesn’t give anybody the right to demand for the other person’s space.(Ever heard,'Absence makes the hard grow fonder'?)

Are we physically attracted to each other?

While men arrive at this conclusion somewhat quickly, women should give themselves some more time. Having said that, whatever is going on physically is meant to be an expression of something deep that is happening on the emotional level, else it’ll fade out in no time!

So there we have it! We have to hold hope in our hearts. We have to have patience. 

It's quite easy to pull-off a lavish big-fat wedding; what is hard is making the 'growing old' part to last a lifetime.

P.S: And after all this, we still wonder...“When will my Mr Right come and sweep me off my feet?  Does a “HAPPILY EVER AFTER really exist?  And if it does, how would it feel after all?

Women, I tell you....!!! ;)